


Please

by School_Holic



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Almost death, Cutting, M/M, Mental search
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-08-05
Updated: 2014-03-25
Packaged: 2017-12-22 12:42:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/913344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/School_Holic/pseuds/School_Holic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Willow does a spell and it goes wrong. When Xander has enough of it, how can Spike make it better?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Bond

Willows POV.

The spell called for an hour to work, and for me not to touch anyone for that time period. I did it at 6:30 so at 7:30 it should be finished.  
The spell is for me to find and bond with the one that I am to be with. Even if Tara says that I’m for her I want to be sure. I know that I'm not in my right mind when I was Oz the other day with that woman werewolf. I just did not want to be hurt once again. I really want to be with Tara for all of time. 

There was a nock at my door. I forgot for just a second that I just did a spell. I opened the door and got hugged by Xander. I look at the clock, 7:31, I did it. Even when hugging my friend. 

We chatted, he left and I had class. 

Before I left, I looked at the book one more time. It clams that I will have a pull at the time of the ending of the time. I felt not a thing. This is just not right, I look at the small print:

“The start of time is when you finish the spell. One will find that if you touch another with in the time limit, the spell will be transferred. This spell cannot be taken back every. Once you have placed the spell on your self or another, it cannot be given to another.”

I look at the first line again… I finished that spell at 6:30 right….Crap.

Xander’s POV.

When I hugged Wills I felt a pull. I don’t know what it was but it was something I put as magic and shrugged. It was Wills and magic. It had nothing to do with me.  
We talked and talked. I can only do this in the mornings. Then I go home, sleep, wake, go to work, patrol, then its right back here. It seems that I have nothing to do but what I have to survive. I do nothing but what the “slayer” wants me to. I don’t like her but I have to live with her because she is going to save the world and I want to help.

When I get done with Willow, I leave. We really don’t talk about much but I need her to be balanced. I get into my car. Its cheep and old but she is mine. Most people have a diary but I have my car. I know that if she talked she would be my best friend. Yeah even more so then Wills.

When I passed the cemetery, I wanted to go in. There was just this tug at my stomach and me being a man of the stomach I went in. I kept going until I came to a crypt. I knew who lived in there but I could not stop myself. I went into it. I looked down the hole and saw Spike with Heather. Something in me broke. I ran as far as my car, got in, and drove. It was all I could to stop the image. 

I got home, slept and went to work, day after day, for a year before I quit. I could not stand watching and knowing that Spike with Heather then Buffy. 

I went to Willow and gave her something I bought that would not open until I was no longer in this world. To a point I can’t wait. To be nothing and no to be in pain. He is to never know that I want him and he will be happy. This is the last day for me. I can’t wait.

Spike’s Pov

I was just standing there watching the watcher and the slayer fight out whatever they’re arguing about this time.

I felt a slight pain in my wrist and feel liquid poor from it. I look down, nope no blood. 

Red pops in real fast. “Have any of you seen Xander?”

“Sorry, pet, I have not. Nor have those two. Why?”

“He came by and gave me this.” She says as she shows me a box. I know that box, it a secret keeper box. I can’t be open unless the owner is dead. “When he left, I looked up what this box is and it is not good.”

“I know what that box is. I don’t think that the doughnut boy is going to do something bad.”

“Can you go see for me? I cant go to his place.”

I grab my trench coat and out the door I went. Why cant that boy stay out of trouble?

By the time I get to his place, I feel strangely sluggish. It feels like I have little to no blood in my body, what little blood I do have anyway. I get to his door and nock. He does not answer. I push on the door and a shock to me is that I was not pushed back. I open the door and I went right though. I smelt the blood. The smell hit me hard.  
Normally when I smell it I go crazy. Now all I want to do is stop it. 

I went to the bathroom, that is where I can smell it strongly. I open the door to see the one thing that I don’t ever want to see again. Xander in the tub filled with water and his blood seeping out. 

The only conscious thing that was running through my head was ‘save him, he is mine, I have to save that is mine.’ Pulling him out of the tub, grabbing shirts, put them around the wrist, grab the duct tape and made sure the shirts stayed. I look at the boy, this boy that wanted to die. I don’t know why, but it hurt my unbeating heart.  
Willow came over when I called her and told her that it was safe to do so. She came in and saw him. I watched her cry, and cling to his hand. That same hand that I was holding when it was just us two. The jealousy just rolled off of me. She left and told me that she and the crew would be there tonight. I did not want them here. I want to be with him by myself.

I wondered when I started thinking about him that way. I might have been when I was trapped down here with him for a few weeks. I wanted to kill myself and he was more than willing to help me out. That pissed me off that I made fun of him when I got the chance.

I also wanted to show him that I can do things. I learned how to use a washer and dryer and even the microwave. I did not do it for him I clamed but so I can do it for myself. In my mind I did it so that he can see I can do something.

The whole day I sat there looking at him and trying to figure out why him dying and killing himself hurts me.

The rest of the gang came over promptly at 6. I have a feeling it was the watcher that made them come at that time. 

“How is he doing?” Red asks me. I shrug, he did not even move.

“Ok, does anyone know why Alexander tried to kill himself?” Asks the watcher. If the watcher has to ask then no one will know. It is that simple. 

“I might.” We all look at Red. I know that we all had the ‘explain’ look on. 

“A year ago to this day, I did a spell. The last rule of that spell is not to touch another person for an hour. The minute to the end of the hour came and so did Xander and we hugged. When we did it was a minute after but I have a feeling that we connected a at the exact time. He ended up with the spell.”

“Willow what was the spell?” The watcher asked. I look at him and behind him is the slayer. She looks as if this is not where she should be, as if this is not important. 

“Soul bound spell.” Red answered.

“Willow!” Ouch, even I shuddered. He is pissed. 

“Explain that spell.” I said. 

“It is a spell that bonds that two souls that are sapost to be together. It is not a dark spell but it is not a white on either. If a person finds the bonded then they are to be together. If they do not come together the one with the spell on him/her will die. It usually happens with in a few months not a year. I have a feeling that Xander tried to push it off. It also seems that he knows that person that fate has granted for him and has done nothing about it.”

“whoever it is, we can tell them right? It will make it better. He will live. Right?” I look at Red, the one who asks. Then at the watcher.

The watcher shakes his head. “I’m sorry but it looks like Alexander wants nothing to do with is bonded. I don’t know if the bonded has another or if they had said no.”  
Whoever it is is stupid because that boy is the most loyal and honest person on this stupid planet.

Everyone left but me. I have no place to go and I don’t want him to be by himself when he wakes up. I don’t know when it started but I started to talk to him. It went from random things to my life growing up to why he needs to wake up. I don’t know how long I was talking but I do know that this is what I want to do. 

Day after day the watcher came over with pills and drinkable fluids for Xan-pet to eat, then he would leave. Red comes over whenever there is time for her to come. The stupid blond has never come to see Xander. 

Red, when she is here, will make me blood and make me shower. She wanted to talk to my Xan-pet on her own. She asked me why I call him Xan-pet and I told her that I would until he wakes up. I told her I was hoping to piss him off enough to make him wake.

Two months have passed, his parents have not bothered me. The watcher comes and leaves, Red comes at least once a week and still nothing has happened.  
I sit here and talk to him, read to him and just sit here. Sometimes I sing. I don’t mind what I do the only thing I want is for my Xan-pet to wake up.


	2. Chapter 2

Xander’s Pov  
I stand before the guardians of the Gate. They look at me.

“What did you say?” I ask. 

“You cannot pass. This is not your time. You must go back.

“I cannot go back. There is no point of being there.”

The female looks at the male counterpart. “This one really does not want to go back.” They nod, and look back at me. “You may wait here. If you do not interfere or speak.”  
I nod at them and make my self comfortable in a corner. I close my eyes, and wish the time away. 

At first I felt nothing but then I started to feel a slight tingling on my hand. I knew that there was nothing there so I did not look. As time passed that tingling when to fell as is if something was in my hand, as if I was holding something. Then it would leave as if it was never there. I start wanting it there all the time. 

As more time passes, I find that there is a small sound around me. I have no clue what is being said. At first I thought it was the PTB but it was the same voice not a mixture of them. It had so many different types of emotions and sounds in that one voice. I could tell that the voice was hurt and grieving, I wanted to go and hug that thing to that voice but I did not want to leave. 

I started to notice when the heat was gone from my hand so was that voice. I know that if I opened my eyes I would not see that person that I was now missing.  
I know that I was slipping, and losing myself. Something I have not done for a long time. I know I needed to stay; I had nothing left to go back to. They have problem found my body and buried it. They did not even have a good bye from me. Willow has most likely read the letter and I hope that she did not give it to Spike, he should never know. I know that he would dig me up and tear me to pieces for even thinking about us that way. 

I continue to fall farther than before. That voice is no longer there. I have pushed myself away from it and the heat that was there was gone too.   
There was no light behind my eyelids, just darkness. I wanted this. This is what I wanted sense I left the box to Willow. I have reached my place of nothing.

Spike POV

I know that there was something different with my Xan-pet. He has gained some color, not the paper white that he has been for over 2 months. I continue to look at him, I want to be the first thing he sees when he opens those liquid chocolate eyes. I want him to be ok, to tell me that he is going to continue to live and to all ways be there. I know that we are to be together but he needs to tell me that himself. 

The watcher is going to be over here about 1 like always. He said that he had something he wanted us to talk about. If it is about killing my Pet then no. I want him to live.  
Time must have went by fast as I came up with ideas that kept Xander at my side, half alive or not, because he was knocking on the door. I answer it and he gave me a half smile as his hands are filled with bags. 

“Willow will not make it today, so here is lunch.” He hands me a package of blood, “I have an idea for Alexander. If you are willing to listen to me.”

“If it is about killing him I want nothing to do with it. Anything else, speak.”

He looks at me and nods, “I have no idea where the first idea came from but, no I do not want to kill a human being, expertly Alexander. I have an idea that involves getting him back.” I nod, he goes on. “I want to get in to his mind, try to bring him back from the place he is at. These are the books, go through them and I’ll be back tomorrow with more lunch and you can tell me what you like, hate, or any questions you may have.”

Just like that he was gone. I would almost think he is learning from Peaches but I know if he is back in town he would be with the blond skank. 

I look at the books the man had left. I know the ‘big bad’ does not read, but I needed to for my Xan-pet. He needs to get better and to tell me why he never told me. I would have been willing…ok I would be cautious but I would try. He is one of these people that I would care if he died. 

Being as it is so; I grabbed the books off the table and sat next to him. I read out loud to him until that is all I am doing. I have no clue what is on the page it is just coming out of my mouth. He probably is thinking ‘what in the world am I talking about?’ Both of us have on knack for magic. It goes haywire on him and magic does not like the undead. 

The whole night it was like this, hell the last 2 months were like this. I wanted nothing more but for him to wake up and tell me that my voice is annoying and to leave him alone. Diss to me the fact that I am blond and its fake, or that I sit in this basement every night and do nothing but watch him. Total creepy stocker status.   
The next day the watcher came over with more bags and one bag of blood. That is a treat, I usually only eat once a week. 

“Did you read the books?”

“No. I don’t read, you tell me and I tell you yes or no.” 

He looked at me and I could tell that he was trying to not laugh. 

“I missed your comebacks, spike. Welcome back, now let’s get the other one up and running shall we.”

“And how do you think to do that?”

“Yes, we will create a pass between his and your mind. I would go but I do not think that I would be any help. Plus he is bonded to you…”  
At that time he went into his own type of British babble that is worse than blond slut lust babble. 

“So how is this going to work? Am I just going in his mind and drag him out like a rag doll, or what?”

“I have no clue. Every person’s mind is different.”

I just nod. He gets the point and starts doing weird stuff and things that I don’t want to know. 

“Spike, without destroying the circle, please get on the bed.” That is going to hard. He has the sand on the bed, around it and even under it. I got on the bed and lay next to Xander and the crazy watcher started specking something that did not even sound human.

The next thing I knew it was dark and cold. I know that I wanted to get out of this place as soon as possible. I remembered that my Xan-pet was in this world. That he did not want to leave made this place even worse. 

“Xander, Where are you?”

“Who are you and what do you want?”

I look behind me and the first thing I thought was, “Bloody hell.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I created this story years ago and it is on FFN in case you want to read the rest. I will finish it on here


	3. Chapter 3

Spikes POV:

I was now looking at the 3 foot version of the man that I was looking for. He looks at me with the wonder of a kid and I have no clue how to respond to his question. 

"Well, who are you?" He contunes to look at me. 

"I am Will and I am looking for a friend. Have you seen him?" It was all I could think of. He might even be able to help me. I know that it is pathic that I was asking his younger self. 

"Nope just me. If you dont find him then you can always just stay here with me." His offer was great, so great that I would almost just drop my quest but I had to find my Xan-pet. I need him to tell me the truth about why he tryed to kill himself. 

"That is ok. I know that I will find him. He is going to be here and safe."

"Why do you think that? There is always a chance that the man you are looking for will not be what who you are looking for. You know that and you just dont want to believe."

His words hit the mark, the one that I have put on the back of my head. There was no way that I would know if he is still like the Xan-pet that he once was. I need him to be ok, just being ok means that I could take him back...hopefully...

"He will be." 

With that I walk and walk and...walk. I know that a mind is very small so, by theory, I should have reached the end of the mind. 

"you will never find him like this. Why dont you just give up and play with me?" Says a voice behind me. 

"I will not. I will find him." This kid is getting on my nerves. 

"Why? it is not as if you can take him from here. If he is stuck here he will not leave."

"I just will. That is how it is going to be."

"But why?"

"I said so. He will come with me. He needs to come to the outside."

"As I have said, there is no outside from here. You will not get him out. It is useless. When you realize this will you play with me?" I stear at this kid. 

"Sorry kid, I will get what I am here for. He will come out and see the light."

And with that, I walk and walk and....got the idea. 

"What is the whole point of getting outside of here? I can have anything I want inside of here. I know that it is funner here then out there. I would not go out there if I was the guy that you are looking for."

This kid is getting a point acrossed to me in a kid way. I understand that in here is better but I dont want for Xander to be stuck in here and to never come out.

"He just needs to come out."

At that the kid kept asking 'why?'. I could not keep answering that annoying question. 

"You want to know 'why?' kid? He has people out there that is waiting for him to wake up. He is very important."

"Who thinks he is important? If that is true why is he here?"

Damn this kid. 

"His bestfriends. And I dont know why he is here, I will ask him when I get to him."

"His bestfriends? Who are they and why is it you are here?"

"His bestfriend Willow and Giles. and I want to bring him home."

"Where do you stand in his life?"

"I guess you can call me his enemy."

"If you are his enemy arn't you part of his friends?"

I stear at the kid again. "I guess you are right."

"Good. You are here to get him out because he is your friend." I was going to tell him that I have already told him this when I watch him smile and just like that he was gone. 

I was, once again, alone. I did not like that at all. I liked having someone there and this is not what I want. 

I walk again.

"Ah... Someone other then the kid. Who might you be?"

I turn and felt like kicking myself. "Bloody hell, not again."

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own the characters of this story.


End file.
